


Starting Over

by Eustacia Vye (eustaciavye)



Category: Bourne Trilogy (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-01
Updated: 2011-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:09:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustaciavye/pseuds/Eustacia%20Vye





	Starting Over

Nicky slid down against the wall, her entire body shaking. She had been running long enough to think that she wasn't being followed, but she didn't for a second think she was safe. Jason Bourne was still out there somewhere, and everyone involved with that project was turning up dead. She wasn't sure if he would be able to trace the web of identities she had used to get from Europe to Tokyo, but she didn't put it past him to figure it out. Maybe this really had been a normal mugging, maybe it wasn't. She would rather be paranoid and alive than sloppy and dead. The little punk hadn't put up much of a fight once she had hit him in the trachea, but she still feel safe. She was starting to think maybe she never would.

Her hands were shaking enough that she was glad she wasn't holding her gun or wearing it openly. She couldn't remember Japan's laws on concealed carry, but she wasn't willing to give it up. It had been a tough enough time getting the gun in the first place. Right now, it was the only thing that made her feel as though she could protect herself. She didn't have the training that Bourne did, but she was still an agent. She wasn't a wallflower.

Rubbing her face tiredly, she waited until she got her breath back before looking around to get her bearings. It was late at night, and she would probably be able to get back to her hotel room in one piece. It was cheap and nothing like what she could have had if she was still in the CIA. Nicky couldn't be bothered to care very much, though. This was just another stepping stone in her trip around the world until she felt like she could stop running.

She was aware of the press of people all around her, and felt almost claustrophobic. She could feel someone grasp her right arm and pull her close; that was her gun arm, and she would never be able to draw left handed. Nicky turned her head intending to yell at the poor Japanese man for his presumptuousness, but it wasn't some random stranger.

It was Jason.

Nicky couldn't breathe, and he simply pulled her along toward her hotel room. "How did you find me?" she gasped when he practically manhandled her into the hotel.

"It wasn't that hard."

She couldn't tell anything about his state of mind from his voice. His face was blank, too, and she wanted to cry. She'd done everything as she was supposed to, followed all of her orders. She hadn't even been involved in the damn project, and she was being swept up into its fallout just the same.

Jason had her bring him to her hotel room, and he plucked her gun from its shoulder holster as soon as she entered her room. He had it pressed to her back as he locked the door behind them. Nicky froze, wondering if he was going to shoot her in the back.

"Why did you run?"

"They said you were dangerous and then they were dead. Wouldn't you?" she asked, her voice betraying none of the fear she felt.

The gun was pressed against her spine. "Did you think I was really going to kill you?"

"I wasn't willing to take that risk."

He moved the gun along her spine as if caressing her with it. "Am I that scary?"

"Yes," she whispered, wondering if this would be when he killed her. She didn't want to die, but she never would have wanted it to be in some anonymous room in Tokyo. Surely there were better deaths than that.

Nicky flinched when she heard the gun drop onto the desk beside the front door. "Take off your coat and jacket, then lie down," Jason told her, his voice even and difficult to read.

She did as he asked and stared up at the ceiling. She refused to tremble. She refused to cry. She would not beg for her life or look weak. Nicky was a lot of things, but weak wasn't one of them. She would never have lasted this long otherwise.

Jason sat down on the bed beside her. "You really think I'm here to kill you? Or do something even worse?"

She wouldn't look at him. "Why else are you here?"

He turned her face to look at his. "I'm tired, Nicky. I'm tired of the fucking games they play. How can you put up with it?"

"I'm not part of anything," she protested, shaking her head. "I'm communications, nothing more. I don't get caught up in that."

His fingers slid down her chin to touch her neck. "You really believe that, don't you? That you have no influence over what happens?"

"I don't," she said, looking at him in confusion.

Jason laid his hand over her chest and laughed bitterly. "Maybe that's why you're still around. The rest of them are dead, pulling in favors left and right to try to stay alive. You just duck out of sight. It never even occurred to you to try to help them track me."

"I thought you'd kill me," she said, not sure what to say. She was definitely too afraid to move, for fear of disrupting him and turning him violent. He didn't give off that kind of feel, but she didn't know anything about him anymore. It was best to play it safe about the whole thing.

"They started it," he said quietly. "Did you know that? They killed Marie coming after me. They didn't care who they hurt, just wanted us dead."

"Reports said that there were losses bringing you in for questioning," Nicky told him when he fell silent. "No one ever said..."

"Of course they wouldn't," he told her, voice still bitter. "So you thought I was a mindless killer, didn't you?"

"It crossed my mind," she admitted softly.

Jason moved his hand from her chest to her neck. He didn't try to strangle her, as she initially feared he might. He simply let his fingers run over her skin, his eyes tracking the rise and fall of her chest. "Are you still afraid of me?"

"What do you want from me?"

"Maybe I want my humanity back," he said softly. "They wanted me to be a mindless killer. They wanted to program me into someone else. I'm not sure what's left anymore." He met her eyes, and there was a sadness there she hadn't seen before. "I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't want to become this."

"I'm sorry," Nicky said in hushed tones, not wanting to break the spell. "I really am."

"Yes, you are, aren't you?" he murmured, looking at her. "You really weren't a part of it."

Before Nicky could say anything in response, he leaned down and kissed her. It was soft, exploratory. Her arms were free; he had never pinned her down, so she could always push him back if that was what she wanted to do. But she let her eyes fall shut and she gave herself over to the kiss. She was tired of running. She was tired of wondering where he was, if he was going to shoot her between the eyes or in the middle of her back. She wanted to stop, to rest, to simply think about something other than mere survival.

Nicky ran her hand along his chest and pulled him down on top of her. For a long time they lay like that, kissing each other slowly and gingerly, his body sprawled across hers. Jason raised himself up on his elbows and slowly undid the buttons on her blouse, occasionally flicking his eyes up to hers. She didn't protest, and even nodded when he seemed to need her permission. She shrugged out of the sleeves when he had it completely unbuttoned, and she pulled at his shirt. He drew it up the rest of the way, leaving him bare from the waist up and her in her plain white bra. She suddenly wished she had something nicer than this, but his eyes were dark with desire. His lips were reverent over her skin, tasting her and stroking her. Nicky ran her fingers over his muscled back, her breath in short gasps in her throat. She pushed him back at one point, confusing him until she wriggled out of her bra.

Jason laughed until he closed his lips over a breast, rolling his tongue around the nipple gently. He was testing her, tasting her, seeing how far he could push things. Nicky was tired of that kind of game, tired of running and second guessing. She kicked off her shoes and undid her own pants before attacking his. Jason drew her pants down her legs then kicked off his own. They were both in briefs, the only barrier left between them. There was still time to turn back if she wanted to.

Fuck that. She was starting over. She wasn't going to run anymore.

She kicked off her panties and dragged his briefs down over his angular hips. Taking his cock into her mouth, Nicky closed her eyes and simply breathed him in. She ran her tongue along his length, bobbing her head back and forth. He was making soft moaning sounds, his fingers tangled in her hair, his thighs trembling as he tried to stay kneeling on the bed. He fell over after a moment, his cock falling from her lips. Jason's pupils were blown wide with lust as he reached for her, hands on her breasts. She was wet, and his other hand was buried between her thighs. Nicky palmed him, rubbing the heel of her hand along him before gently scratching at his balls. She tensed as he rubbed her harder, pulling at her breast, and she made a small squeaking sound. "I'm close," she whimpered, nearly grinding down on his hand. Another flick of his fingers and she came, tight and pulsing.

He pulled her down on top of him, sliding all the way inside her. He urged her to rock against him, and Nicky merely gasped and picked up the rhythm he set. It was hard and fast, and he kept one hand between them to continue rubbing at her clit. His other hand was at a breast, and she was reaching behind her to grasp his thighs. See-sawing back and forth above him, she came twice more before Jason groaned and arched up to meet her. "God, that," he groaned before he collapsed beneath her.

Nicky carefully lowered herself over him so that he was still buried to the hilt inside her. His hands rested gently over her spine, and she tucked her face against his neck as she struggled to breathe. What did this mean?

"Where are you headed next?" he whispered softly, just when she thought they would fall asleep this way.

"I don't know. I never had a plan."

"Have you ever been to Chile? I've been meaning to go there. We can play tourist together."

The words themselves were neutral, but Nicky could almost hear the vulnerability in his voice. She struggled to prop herself up onto one elbow to look him in the eye. "Are there tourist things to do there?" she asked, brows furrowed. "I don't know much about it."

"So we can explore it together."

She smiled in the face of his boyish grin. "Yeah. We can do that." She lowered herself down over him and settled in to sleep.


End file.
